Suppet Crime Wave Hits East Detroit
Police cannot respond swiftly enough before yet another bank heist is pulled on the east side of Detroit. A rash of bank robberies have taken place in recent days, all committed apparently by the same perpetrator, namely, a mysterious character who calls himself Sam, Suppet-Sam.
The M.O. is always the same, Suppet-Sam ambles into a bank – approaches the teller and hands over a note which reads:
I am a suppet-Sam. I have been asked by my owner to rob banks. Hand over the money and nobody needs to get hurt.
All this is done while Suppet-Sam brandishes a handgun, though conflicting reports have said it was a plush-stuffed toy handgun. He then makes his getaway – on foot.
Nonetheless, untold hundreds of dollars has been pilfered from area banks, customers terrorized, and an entire neighborhood set on high alert.
Detective Brosco, assigned to the case, warns that if anyone notices a giant sock puppet walking the streets, please call the police immediately, do not approach.