[I actually posted this on my blog a few days ago, but thought it would be good for here too…]

Many of you may know that from time to time I get to take part in evictions in the Detroit area. Some of these are quick and painless; some involve a lot of drama; and some are just disgusting. From the dram files I can mention the time we had to destroy a bed that had been assembled inside a bedroom amid the mothers screaming and swearing; there was the time a woman called the cops on us for touching her lawn with our foot (the cops laughed at the complaint when they came by). Then there are the gross evictions. There was the maggot infested fridge. There was the floor that was covered in cat crap (the cops took the cat and charged the occupants with cruelty to animals). There were the numerous kitchens that smelled like the grave.

But what I want to offer you is a checklist for the likelihood of being evicted. If you possess more than 3 of the following: you are likely going to be evicted. (The percent of the time they are found is included).
1. Open containers of grease (80%)
2. Porn stash (60%)
3. Alcohol stash (definately hidden) (40%)
4. Financial “get ahold of your finances” books (60%)
5. Multi-level marketing supplies/product (50%)
6. Piles of unopened bills (65%)
7. Empty shoe boxes (75%)
8. Numerous bottles of some form of refrigerated pickles (60%)
9. Empty CD/DVD containers scattered everywhere (70%)
10. Old cell phones (at least 3) (60%)

These numbers are not inflated for effect!