black t-shirts, torn jeans and you

if you’re driving on Woodward Avenue this Friday and you pass something that looks like blew up spewing all it’s inhabitants onto the Comerica parking lot don’t be alarmed for it’s nothing more than the annual mall-core jamboree known as the Vans Warped Tour! as in years past i’m sure it’ll be full of thousands of seventeen year olds with nautical star tattoos and tight pants that are willing to pay nine dollars for a bottle of Aquafina solely to fling it away into the crowd in hopes of clubbing some poor unsuspecting shlub who is, ironically, standing on line to purchase his own aquabomb…ah, to be young, dumb and eager to impress. oh well, if a full day of pop-punk, skateboarding, boys in eye liner and hundreds of vendors willing to literally turn you over and shake the money out of your “target demographic” pockets is your thing then this is the event for you…and here’s a little tip for you: the beer lines are always WAY shorter than the water lines and if you look even one day over thirty you might as well be a hundred because the kids are gonna look at you like you’re the oldest person on the earth.

2 Comments so far

  1. Mollika* (unregistered) on July 26th, 2007 @ 12:03 pm

    I love that the tour is being sponsored by Truth – an anti-smoking campaign – which will hopefully get through to the youth before they become jaded adults who think they are too old to change (

  2. Abster (unregistered) on July 27th, 2007 @ 6:41 pm

    I did happen to run smack into this on my way to a downtown meeting today. Luckily I left early, and luckily I read this post so I knew why thousands of teenagers were streaming through Woodward and music was threatening to break my windows.

    It looked very crowded, which is never bad news for a downtown event, and the weather could not have been better. I hope it was a success.

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